Camera two, camera one.
Do you revolve around the TV like Earth spins around the sun?
You say you see things differently,
Is that because you see things through a 28-inch screen.

Camera three, camera four.
You fall asleep watching repeats and then you wake for more?
There's a film you'd like me to see
You've committed all the dialogue to memory.

Camera four, camera five.
If this is all you get from life, are you really alive?
Where's your energy? Where's your ambition?
Is getting off the sofa an impossible mission?

Camera six, camera seven.
Is a day of television your idea of heaven?
I'll have to disagree...
It's not even worth the licence fee.

Camera one, channel one.
Camera two, channel two.
Camera three, channel three.
Camera four, channel four.
Camera five, channel five.
Camera six, channel six.
Camera seven, channel seven.
Camera hate.